Thursday, December 18, 2014

Ranjit Souri

This is totally serious, unless it doesn't work in which case it isn't. If you're qualified and interested in meeting Ranjit I'd be happy to set up an introduction.


Ranjit Souri

Winter Girlfriend sought. 1. This position is temporary, most likely into February. 2. Of course, either of us can end the arrangement at any time … but if we do, hopefully we’ll choose to do so in a very friendly and kind way. 3. I am open to the possibility of the relationship lasting beyond this winter if we both want it to. 4. Sex and overnight stays are not part of the deal, but cuddling up to watch movies is. 5. I do prefer daily communication with my GF, whether it be texting or e-mail or talking on the phone on days we don’t see each other in person. 6. You must be able to intelligently discuss The Five Love Languages. (You don’t need to have read the book; the Wikipedia entry is enough. This is 2014.) 7. If you are familiar with the concept of “Bids for Emotional Connection”, that’s a big plus. 8. You can have flaws (I certainly do), but you must have a basically warm personality. 9. You’ll probably find out about some of my issues that almost nobody knows about, and I expect you to keep those between us. I will grant you the same courtesy regarding your private issues. 10. If you like holding hands, that’s a really big plus. 11. If you like doing crossword puzzles, that’s a plus but it’s not necessary. 12. Even though a Long Distance situation is not ideal, I will consider Long Distance applications. 13. Apply by PM’ing me on Facebook. 14. I will reply to all inquiries within a few days. 15. If I decline your application, my note to you will be friendly and grateful. I won’t be awkward or weird about it if we run into each other, and I will not tell anybody (except maybe my therapist, who doesn’t know you anyway) that you applied. Very serious about that. I will respect your privacy if you apply. 16. Even though I tend to share a lot of my personal life on Facebook, I am very respectful of my partner's privacy, FYI, so you have nothing to worry about there. 17. Not applying but still want to help? Then feel free to Share this post. 18. I’m not putting an expiration date on this post. We’ll see what happens. Perks: 1. You’ll be with a great listener who believes in verbal intimacy. (I don’t mean dirty talk. I mean talking and listening in general.) I’m great at communicating and I place a very high priority on it in a relationship. 2. I’ll pay for our dates. Within reason please. Disneyland ain’t gonna happen. 3. You’ll get two complimentary tickets to my upcoming “Siblings of Doctors” comedy show, which involves me performing with famous people and which will definitely be sold out. You can bring a friend. This post was executive produced by Sydney Davis Jr. Jr.. I have been thinking about writing a post like this for several weeks, but I didn’t have the nerve. Then Sydney wrote one today, because she is way more awesome than I am, and her post gave me the nerve to write one myself. So I promised her an Executive Producer credit. Boy, she is going to rake in the money. This post is not a joke. Unless it doesn’t work, in which case it was a joke the whole time.

No comments: