MMVIII

Hello, and welcome to the annual Burton-Lyford-Menze-Lyford yearly newsletter update.

As is the case with everyone these days, we had a year of change, transition, and tradition since 2007 ended. And to make a change from the usual tradition of holiday letters, we'll forgo the introductory prattle and transition to the important stuff. Let's start the round-robin, shall we?

Eva parted ways with C.P. Morgan this year, just as the house building business imitated a Cubs playoff hope. She passed her PMP exam mid-year then landed on her feet (we hope they were hers anyway) at Delta Faucet, where she got work as a plumber. And, she's still working in project management for IT and marketing. She has certainly kept busy, blogging as Ejly at the Evagation Blog, twittering, posting at Mike Moran's Biznology site, performing with an improv comedy troupe, and fighting her iPhone addiction happy with her new iphone.

E started 3rd grade at Montessori School and is the head boy at the school this year and doesn't mind telling you about it. He's doing quite well in school; during the standardized tests, he scored in the high school level for math and science. He's reading more and has hit the modern-day childhood milestone of googling his mother and asking for an explanation. He also achieved a brown belt in tae kwan do.

O started 1st grade this year and has shown his aptitude for languages is no fluke. He tested at a junior high level in English and is keeping Eva and Richard on their toes in the words they use to describe assorted people they encounter. He's also grown like a weed, got his purple belt in tae kwon do and is now tall enough to drive go-karts at our local track. He's shown a lot of talent with this and with Guitar Hero for someone who just recently turned 7. (He'll be either incredibly successful or a 6th year baccalaureate candidate in journalism.)

Richard started the year working at Allison Transmission, which had just been sold by GM, for Global Touchpoints on a contract-to-hire with EDS. (Should we break out the org chart here?) EDS was in the process of being bought by Hewlett Packard, so with the reduction in head count, Richard soon switched to WDD, a software company in Indianapolis, writing software for Monsanto's agricultural business. So, after working hard all his life to leave the farm-and-factory town of Seymour ("The Crosroads of Southern Indiana!"), he leaves a transmission company to write software so people can sell seed to farmers. This is known as progress. And, dare we hope, job security as seeds seem to be in demand still. He is also writing humor posts for Indypaws.com, to rave reviews and, with the frequent puns, a groan or two.

We did many things as a family this year, often involving food. (Turns out the boys like Indian food; who knew?) We went to King's Island in May; Oliver is now motivated to eat food that will help him grow so he can ride more rides. We also visited Brown County and hiked through the hills a few times. And the boys saw their first cave: Squire Boone Caverns, near Louisville. So after all the Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, and Neverwinter Nights, the boys now know what caves are REALLY like. We went to the Indianapolis 500 qualifications and the boys ate Smoked Turkey legs and have been begging for more since. We took the gang down to Bloomington to see Bill Cosby at the IU campus, and much to O's surprise he wasn't white. We attended Spamalot and Eddie Izzard's Stripped concert sans children, just to show our good judgement and parenting acumen. They also got to go to Colts and Pacers games this year and are becoming proper sport fans. Now, however, we have a Wii so we are just staying home.

In 2008 we also started to foster dogs for the Humane Society of Indianapolis. We got our beagles, Perl and Beauregard, from HSI and we're always in danger of taking every dog home with us when we go there. It's been fun and keeps us busy, and it's a great way to help an animal who needs a break. It also lets us "test drive" other types of dogs and work on dog-training skills. We're definitely a beagle family, but adding another type of dog to the mix is never boring. The first was Hugh, a pointer mix (we think); then came Dewey, a beagle mix; Bowie, a border collie; Sophie, a dachshund; and Lunar, a bluetick coonhound. Eva and I have gotten a lot out of it, and the boys have learned a lot about human behavior by watching all the dogs interact. Beauregard and Perl like it, too; they're always excited to meet new dogs and welcome them into the pack. Just remember that Perl Is In Charge! Seeing a female beagle hip-check a coonhound, and doing so with an air of a sergeant-major with strict views on discipline, is a a sight to be seen.

We hosted a traditional Polish Christmas Eve dinner this year. This included mushroom soup, oplatik wafers and wishes, You should try it sometime; with the amount of food a Polish family puts on the table, they won't notice another person or two sneaking in to eat. It was wonderful to see all the family gathered together in one place, for one night, for each other.

Our house went on the market this autumn, in a fit of poor timing. We are looking for a new home in the Indianapolis area that will reduce commuting times and give the beagles a new set of squirrels to chase. Yes, the housing market is not healthy right now, but if you're going to buy up, now's the time to do it. Stay tuned; film at 11.

In 2009, the boys will be moving to a new school, we hope to have a new residence, foster a few more dogs-in-need, perform, write, enjoy a few more travel adventures and sports and comedy events and report continued gainful employment in rewarding careers. We hope that you too will have an excellent 2009, as we plan to do.

Happy new year!

Hello, and welcome to the 2007 Burton-Lyford-Menze-Lyford Non-denominational Holiday Seasons Greeting Letter, the Official Non-denominational Holiday Seasons Greeting Letter of the Burton-Lyford-Menze-Lyford Family for 2007. 2007 was quite a year for the Burton-Lyford-Menze-Lyford family, one marked by both tradition and transition.

As is tradition with these year-end letters, we reveal here that it was a busy year for us. A lot of this has come from the traditional institution of tae kwan do, but that has also been so wonderful. Elliot and Oliver both achieved their purple belts this year, the highest of the intermediate level belts. Early in the year they finished 1-2 in an intraschool tournament, Oliver tops in attack form and Elliot in defense. (Third in both went to an appaloosa filly from outside Lexington ... Street.) They were also accepted into the Black Belt Program in the fall. Martial arts has been great for both of them. Not only has their physical maturity improved, their mental and emotional growth has really been helped. Their focus and self-discipline have improved tremendously. It's really helping them grow into young men.

So to help Richard's growth to maturity, he also started tae kwan do, in November. At the age of forty. And a half. Though his maturity is still nowhere near his chronological age, he has rocketed past forty toward seventy in terms of knee and ankle pain. He did get his yellow belt in December and no longer slings oatmeal at breakfast, so maybe there is hope for him yet.

Eva transitioned to a new job in January, in the fine traditional field of home building. Her employer is CP Morgan, Indianapolis' largest homebuilder. She has continued in the field of project management, with the occasional roofing job thrown in. Her timing was rather peccable, as you know if you follow the housing market. Like all jobs, it presents challenges, particularly in these days of modern times, but she does like her job and coworkers, in spite of the Chicagoesque commute and constant pranking (Lesson learned: do not prank coworkers with access to construction equipment.)

Richard also transitioned to a new job, leaving behind a computing job in the traditional and dying newspaper business for a job at Allison Transmission, a venerable company that is transitioning from GM ownership. Richard is looking forward to advancing in his new career as a drill bit polisher. Not really; but he is hoping to get a company vehicle to use, once they make the Abrams tanks street legal.

Elliot and Oliver continue to excel in their careers as school children. They started their third years at Beech Grove Montessori, Oliver transitioning to The Big School (K-3) with Elliot. They have begun to learn Arabic from their new teacher, a native of Jordan, and have taken to it like a duke to water. Montessori is proving to be an excellent fit to their education. They already know more of the chemical elements and symbols than most pharmaceutical company executives (ie, more than three). Elliot has continued to learn calculus in the second grade, and Oliver has shown great talents in languages. Soon they will be beyond Eva and Richard and running an anti-terrorist lab out of the hamper.

As some of you may recall -- how could it be forgotten? -- last year the family was adopted by a beagle named Perl at the Humane Society of Indianapolis. This year the tradition continued. In March they were again chosen, again by a beagle, again from the Humane Society of Indianapolis, this time named Beauregard. Beauregard is such a treasure. He is a wonderful companion to Perl; they now pester each other instead of the bipeds, for one thing. And while he often misbehaves, he will run straight to a human when he does to show just exactly how he's misbehaved. Other than his barking loudly at air, there have been few complaints.

The boys' indoctrination into sports exploded this year. Nothing in sports is more traditional than the Indianapolis 500 (run since 1911), except for the Cubs not winning the World Series (not won since 1908). The boys attended their first race this year, where they saw other grand old traditions: the Purdue Marching Band, the salute to the military, the flyover after the national anthem, the release of the balloons, and an Andretti getting passed on a restart to lose the lead. Oliver might not have enjoyed it so much, having slept through thirty laps of the race while only 30 rows back. They also saw their first Colts and Pacers games this year, which we all enjoyed.

2008 promises even more and we are looking forward to following the great tradition of American families: adapting to more transitions.

Xmas 2006

In the words of Franz Liszt, "Merry Christmas, y'all." (Bet you didn't know he was from SOUTHERN Hungary, did you?)

It's been a busy year at Burton Manor, home of the Burton-Lyfords (or, if you prefer, Lyford-Burtons). The boys are both doing very well at Montessori School. E has started kindergarten at The Big School and is learning so much that in two years he'll be overqualified for management. O is now one of the older kids at The Little School and is starting to develop leadership skills. However, I don't know if I like his plan of annexing Ohio first. Kentucky seems a better target, but you have to let kids learn.

The boys have also started tae kwon do classes, to help with their coordination, concentration, discipline, and appreciation of old Bill Cosby bits. "Now he only picks on jello and whipped cream."

Richard has tried to give Eva and the boys distinctly Hoosier/Indianapolis experiences, like doughnuts from Long's, a dinner at Shapiro's, a trip to the museum at the Soldiers and Sailors monument, and so on. However, he has not stooped to a monster truck show yet.

Richard took Eva to her first Indy 500 this year. What a finish! What a first race! Not only was it one of the best finishes ever, it was great for her to see another Andretti loss in her first race. She wrote about the Indy 500 in her blog in June, so you know it's huge if it's been blogged. She may not be too interested in going again, especially on such on a hot day, but it is something everyone should try once.

We took two trips to Brown County State Park this summer. The first was a day-trip to go hiking, with a side stop at the Oliver Winery, which we've been asked if we own now that we wear the Oliver hats. While on the hike, O spotted a bullsnake that E had passed and wanted to step into poison ivy-laced undergrowth to check it out. From a distance, it looked like it might have been a rattlesnake, and that hiss sounded close enough to a rattle. Richard, fortunately, did not need his spare set of boxers, and the boys got a nice lesson: nature is not all Disney. We also saw some wild turkeys in the park, which nearly inspired the adults to crack open the wine on the way home after a day of kid-herding. The second trip was in late summer, right before the boys went back to school. We stayed at one of the Abe Martin Lodge cabins in the woods. It was neat for Eva and the boys, but Richard, having grown up listening to Waylon and Willie, didn't find it quite as fascinating. This didn't involve too much danger, except for short but steep climb at the end of one hike. There was also a huge scary-looking spider near the cabin that inspired all sorts of Tolkeinesque stories, some from the kids.

During the summer, Eva and Richard went to southern Ohio to visit his mother's relatives, the outdoor toilet side of the family. Oddly enough, Eva did not run screaming to the horizon, though that does make sense given the local snake population. That she didn't immediately file for a divorce/annulment is a good sign, though we shouldn't expect her to wear a Git'r'done belt buckle with Daisy Duke shorts any time soon.

One of Richard's highlights was taking the boys to their first Colts game, a pre-season affair with the Bengals. The Colts do know how to do pregame introductions, with both boys' eyes rivetted to the field. A big motorcycle on the field! Fireworks! Cheerbabes! Popcorn! It was the coolest thing in the world!

You may not have heard, but there has been an addition to our family. On that fateful day, Richard called his father to let him know that he was about to become a grandfather again ... of a bouncing baby beagle. As soon as she came into the play area at the Humane Society, we were all sold. Eva dubbed her Perl, after Richard's favorite programming language, and she has become the center of our family life. Eva and E took her to a few basic obedience training classes, and Richard took over when Eva got sick. (Too bad the place only works with dogs, not kids.) Perl is an absolute sweetie, though there are days when Eva is accurate in saying she is "slightly less trouble than she's worth." She still has a lot of puppy in her and has charmed everyone she's met. Our house and life is suddenly very dog-oriented. Seeing how Perl and the boys interact, Eva and Richard are now wondering why they didn't get a dog earlier.

Here's hoping for a better new year than the end of this year was. Eva has been sick for four straight weeks and counting, O and E have been sick off and on, and after holding it off for so long, Richard has finally succumbed to general annoyance with it all. Eva wants to call a "do over" on November, but Richard's knowledge of physics and time says that this is unlikely to happen. On the other hand, Richard is considering a correspondence course to be medicine man, starting with the "You Too Can Speak Sioux in Twenty Lessons or Less" cassette series.

Here's to a happier, healthier New Year for all.

Happy new year!

In the words of Franz Liszt, "Merry Christmas, y'all." (Bet you didn't know he was from SOUTHERN Hungary, did you?)

It's been a busy year at Burton Manor, home of the Burton-Lyfords (or, if you prefer, Lyford-Burtons). We have spent a lot of time adjusting this year. The boys are both doing very well at Montessori School. Kid1 has started kindergarten at The Big School and is learning so much that in two years he'll be overqualified for management. Kid2 is now one of the older kids at The Little School (aka preschool) and is starting to develop leadership skills. However, I don't know if I like his plan of annexing Ohio first. Kentucky seems a better target, but you have to let kids learn.

The boys have also started karate classes, to help with their coordination, concentration, discipline, and appreciation of old Bill Cosby bits. "Now he only picks on jello and whipped cream."

Richard took Eva to her first Indy 500 this year. What a finish! What a first race! Not only was it one of the best finishes ever, it was great for her to see another Andretti loss in her first race. She wrote about it in her blog in June, so you know it's huge if it's been blogged. She may not be too interested in going again, especially on such on a hot day, but it is something everyone should try once.

We took two trips to Brown County State Park this summer. The first was a day-trip to go hiking, with a side stop at the Oliver Winery, which we've been asked if we own now that we wear the Oliver hats. While on the hike, kid2 spotted a bullsnake that kid1 had passed and wanted to step into poison ivy-laced undergrowth to check it out. From a distance, it looked like it might have been a rattlesnake, and that hiss sounded close enough to a rattle. Richard, fortunately, did not need his spare set of boxers, and the boys got a nice lesson: nature is not all Disney. We also saw some wild turkeys in the park, which nearly inspired the adults to crack open the wine on the way home after a day of kid-herding. The second trip was in late summer, right before the boys went back to school. We stayed at one of the Abe Martin Lodge cabins in the woods. It was neat for Eva and the boys, but Richard, having grown up listening to Waylon and Willie, didn't find it quite as fascinating. This didn't involve too much danger, except for short but steep climb at the end of one hike. There was also a huge scary-looking spider near the cabin that inspired all sorts of Tolkeinesque stories, some from the kids.

During the summer, Eva and Richard went to southern Ohio to visit his mother's relatives, the outdoor toilet side of the family. Oddly enough, Eva did not run screaming to the horizon, though that does make sense given the local snake population. That she didn't immediately file for a divorce/annulment is a good sign, though we shouldn't expect her to wear a Git'r'done belt buckle with Daisy Duke shorts any time soon.

One of Richard's highlights was taking the boys to their first Colts game, a pre-season affair with the Bengals. The Colts do know how to do pregame introductions, with both boys' eyes rivetted to the field. A big motorcycle on the field! Fireworks! Cheerbabes! Popcorn! It was the coolest thing in the world!

You may not have heard, but there has been an addition to our family. On that fateful day, Richard called his father to let him know that he was about to become a grandfather again ... of a bouncing baby beagle. As soon as she came into the play area at the Humane Society, we were all sold. Eva dubbed her Perl, after Richard's favorite programming language, and she has become the center of our family life. Eva and kid1 took her to a few basic obedience training classes, and Richard took over when Eva got sick. (Too bad the place only works with dogs, not kids.) Perl is an absolute sweetie, though there are days when Eva is accurate in saying she is "slightly less trouble than she's worth." She still has a lot of puppy in her and has charmed everyone she's met. Our house and life is very dog-oriented. Seeing how Perl and the boys interact, Eva and Richard are now wondering why they didn't get a dog earlier.

Here's hoping for a better new year than the end of this year was. Eva has been sick for four straight weeks and counting, kid2 and kid1 have been sick off and on, and after holding it off for so long, Richard has finally succumbed. Eva wants to call a "do over" on November, but Richard's knowledge of physics and time says that this is unlikely to happen. On the other hand, Richard is considering a correspondence course to be medicine man, starting with the "You Too Can Speak Sioux in Twenty Lessons or Less" cassette series.

Here's to a happier, healthier New Year for all.

2005 Festivus Greetings

It’s been a busy year, so I feel I should catch you up on the events of 2005.

After lo these many years, I asked Eva to marry me, and she said yes, the poor deluded fool. I’ll never forget the proposal; on the grounds of the Indianapolis Museum of Art, the weekend of the US Grand Prix. I wanted to make a point of asking her that weekend, since Raphael’s “La Fornarina” was on exhibit and she’s such a Ferrari fan.

We were married in August at The Milano Inn, an old Italian restaurant downtown full of old Italians; our first dinner date was there, it held special meaning, and I don’t just mean the Chicken Vicki. The wedding went well, and I only passed out three times: twice from nerves, once from the bar tab. Well, that’s family for you; they’re getting sticks for Christmas.

That’s the biggest news, aside from the fun Colts games. (One must maintain one’s priorities, after all.) And yes, She Who Must Be Obeyed is a Colts fan and insisted we keep those tickets, much to my elation.